Relationships are not (anymore, at least) a collectivist act.They really come down to two individuals doing business in ways that we will never be privy to.

It's totally out of whack with what I see/hear in my daily interactions.

It's as if all our complainers, all our naysayers, all our insecurities got together and went into journalism.

I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.

But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress. Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.

The point about "African people worldwide" is a tip off.

Now I ride for my folks, but we certainly are no more "welcoming and open-minded" than any other group of people.

But what matters isn't what Scott doesn't know, but what she thinks she does--that he's African People.

As much as my own limitations allow, I sympathize with race and the constructions of beauty standards, just like I sympathize with race and its effects on the justice system.

Writing about this has helped me get clearer and clearer on this.

To be blunt--I think people who spend their time stressing about the DNA admixture in other people's relationship need to give some thought to boundaries.

I really wish I would have kept a notebook with all of the comments I have received over the years.