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Avoiding being a creeper is equal parts practical measures and self-awareness.
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The resources for learning what is and isn’t creepy behavior are out there. Part of the learning process is being willing to take ownership of your actions.
Remember what I just said about learning social calibration? Other people aren’t obligated to tell you that you’re being creepy again on message boards and subreddits – demanding that women teach “awkward” guys how not to creep on them, similar to the people who insist on the Socially Awkward Exception.
of people – mostly the socially inexperienced – who worry about being called “creepy” by women and having it destroy their entire lives.
Because, as we all know, all women everywhere are connected to a powerful underground information sharing network, thus ensuring that anyone saddled with the “creeper” label shall never have sex again… But I understand the fear; most people don’t want to come across as creepy and worry about accidentally ruining an interaction with someone they’re attracted to.
As a result: they’re feeling awkward, uneasy, even a little nervous themselves – and thanks to misattribution of arousal, they’re associating their nervousness with thinks you’re mentally measuring how many lampshades you can make out of her skin and now she’s getting ready “nope” the hell out of there all the way to Fuck That Shit Ville. Breathe in slowly, hold it for the count of three, then breathe out for a count of 5.
Repeat this several times – taking a deep breath, holding it, letting it out.
As with the SAE, the underlying message of this demand is that women’s desire to feel safe and their right to set their own boundaries – or to be approached in the manner they prefer – is not as important as the right for men to get what they want.
This attitude is The other side of taking responsibility is understanding that you don’t get to decide other people’s comfort levels.
There are almost always people who will complain that someone thought that they were unfairly labeled as “creepy” and they couldn’t possibly have been because reasons.