That means she won’t be going with you to the mall, the movies or out to dinner on a school night.No, I won’t hide in the backseat or stalk you when you’re with my daughter, but she and I have an agreement that she checks in often with home, and lets me know where she is and where she’s going.

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Not really, but I will try to figure out what kind of girl you are, before you spend time with my son.

When you get to know my son, you’ll get to know me too. So be sure you’re comfortable with me seeing what you’re sending.

I knew even then that my chance of getting pregnant through artificial insemination was only 5 to 25 percent per try.) I'm so excited it's hard to remember how reluctant I was about all this. When I was a teenager my parents said, "You'd better lose that weight or you're not going to find a boyfriend." And embedded in this warning was the fate-worse-than-death scenario that my mother's sister was living: 40, single, childless. Then, of course, there were things like money to be considered. Look around you: Over 40, single with a baby, is hardly shocking. There's a strange pinging deep in my pelvis and – most strangely – an awful metallic taste in my mouth.

This isn't the life I imagined when I was 16, sitting around listening to isn't coming. I'd suspected this to be my fate even as I dreamed of the other, more romantic life. Most especially there was the deep, hollow sadness to be worked through in watching The Plan fail. Two days later, while I'm visiting a friend, waves of dizziness almost knock me over.

Also, secret meetings and clandestine adventures will be discovered—I have my ways! What rules do you have for someone dating your daughter?

I will ask you a lot of questions and make sure you know that I know how special my son is. No, I’m not going to be nosey, rude or obsessive about it But, if my son’s phone just happens to be laying on the table, and I see he’s gotten a text, I might take a look at it.

But then I took him into the living room to watch TV, and he didn't complain when I kept changing the channel.

And Rebecca helped me with a dirty little secret fear: Up until then it'd been hard to find a man..with a kid in tow, would it be impossible?

I also have a date coming up next week with a friend of a friend of a friend. I'm going to be alone, single, and childless for the rest of my life, I thought. But it took another several months to officially move from The Plan to Plan B. Bakas isn't right about the instantaneousness of insemination. It does stick, and my daughter Kaj arrives nine months later, one day after her due date.