And you can find a guy who wants an open and egalitarian relationship, which is what you deserve.

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But almost immediately, he began talking about how he wanted to hook up with others. I feel tremendous guilt for even thinking about splitting up, so I keep hoping we'll stumble on the thing that will work for us.

I don't know what to say when he says I should be monogamous to him while he gets to hook up with others. Gay Marriage Having Crisis I've written about a few gay couples—and a few straight ones—where one half gets to hook up with others while the other half doesn't.

He says this would be best, since my hooking up triggers him. But they were cuckold couples, GMHC, and the half who didn't "get to" hook up with others didn't want to hook up with others.

The cuck half of a cuckold couple gets off on their partner "cheating" on them.

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At best, you broke into (or slowed to) a trot, which allowed each one of these lady predators to overtake you. You weren't hit by a pussy meteor every time you left the house. Seeing as you're a reader, ASSHOLE, I suspect you knew an honest open relationship was an option—that ethical nonmonogamy was an option—but you didn't pursue that. Maybe because you don't want to be with a woman who is free to sit on other dicks.

The first step toward holding yourself accountable for your appalling actions—a close friend of your wife? Or maybe the wrongness and the self-loathing—the whole bad-boy-on-the-rack routine—turn you on.

So long as those desires are consciously eroticized, fully compartmentalized, and safely expressed, you could have done everything you wanted, ASSHOLE, without harming anyone. It seems like you want out, and your wife definitely deserves better, so cop to one affair, since copping to all of them would crush her—or so you think. I made an open relationship a requirement at the start.