Rules in islam about dating
Married life has been amazing and although I know y’all are going to tell me that I’m just in the honeymoon period – that’s fine! Getting married also means that I can tell you all about the nuances of Muslim ‘dating’ and marriage and relationships in general.
Basically, it’s just your parents introducing you to someone.
In other instances, arranged marriage refers to a situation where parents arrange the marriage of their (adult) children without their involvement. On the day that the groom and his entourage are coming, the bride’s house is filled with people frantically making the house spotless.
Although parents may agree to the idea of the kids getting married during the first meeting, it’s actually just agreement to the idea.
What comes next is a series of negotiations about wedding plans, the dowry that will be paid, where the young couple will live, and other things that you wouldn’t actually consider. For a lot of us, we feel – rightly or wrongly – that we owe our families a lot.
For the most part, we ‘arrange’ ourselves with people that we meet at university, work, social events, online or through our own married friends. I didn’t accidentally use the word ‘interrogate’ there. My friends were amazed at what I knew within two weeks of meeting my husband. While we’re hanging out and getting to know each other, there are really strict rules. It’s to ensure that we’ve got our parents onside so that when things get serious (lol… The idea is to use strong negotiation skills to get our parents to agree before they meet the potential spouse. The groom tells his parents not to be freaks and they head over.
We tend to meet in public only – somewhere public enough that we’re not alone, but not public enough that a random nosy aunt can spot you and call your parents to tell them of your horrible indiscretions. When the families meet, there is the inevitable small talk.
Such goals also ensure that a couple really serious about getting together understand just how important their relationship is in their faith.
Just like the government only gets involved with married individuals (a man/woman can sleep around all they want without responsibility), God's relationship laws are only for those with the maturity and intellect to legally commit.
Eventually, the father of the groom asks the father of the bride if the two kids can marry in a usually eloquent ‘your family is so honourable, our family is so honourable, let’s be honourable together’ kinda way.