Meanwhile, allow intimacy to thrive in the non-romantic relationships, like friends and family, so you don’t become too desperate and starved. Write down and focus on what you are looking for, not what you aren’t. Remember, they will come around again next year too, waiting with open arms for you to celebrate them with someone you love.

Avoid desperation dating at all costs if you don’t want to have to clean up the mess afterwards, especially now. Even when I have to drag myself metaphorically kicking and screaming to celebrate them. I have been ending each and every yoga class I teach with “Being ever so thankful for what we do have,” for the last decade or so.

There have been times when the three wise men have been, grief, despair and hopelessness manifesting themselves in my body like 50-pound weights. Appreciation and gratitude are not meant to ignore the pain or struggles we are in.

Sometimes practical considerations minimize this conflict. If family members live far apart, the question of where to spend the holidays may be answered when travel costs are taken into account.

Often, though, the solutions aren't quite so clear.

Being friends with him was no longer possible and, finally, it wasn’t desirable either.

When I got severe food poisoning two days before Thanksgiving, I was miserable. As the holidays descend, I can feel the embarrassment, panic and hopelessness creeping in.In the same way gym memberships surge following New Year’s resolutions only to die out a month or two later, holiday dating has a similar pattern that ends after Valentine’s day. If you really want to find that last relationship ever, get rid of any “friends” where the boundaries are blurred.Staying hungry in the hunt for love and intimacy as opposed to being partially satiated could make you more persistent and less likely to give up.It reminds us to never completely shut the door on the light that is always trying to come in even when our backs are turned toward it.Appreciation is a journey that requires time for quiet self-reflection as well as friends or family who know when to hold our hands in just the right way when we really need it.Being unable to work and starring in my own version of The Exorcist for too many hours to count reminded me how sucky it is to be single when you are sick. I console myself with mindfulness meditations, activities I enjoy and reality checks. It is said that “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” However, I learned in a workshop on neuroscience, psychology and yoga a few weeks ago that the mind wandering is the cause not the consequence of unhappiness.