Likewise, don’t make the people in your life try to read your mind. Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.

It’s also important to remember that you aren’t suppose to know every little thing going on in the minds of others, even the people closest to you.

You need to understand that a good relationship is about sharing ideas and enjoyable moments with another, to help each other grow in healthy ways, both together socially and as individuals.

Simply because they were once in a relationship with someone who was abusive, dishonest, or who left them, they respond defensively to everyone else who gets close to them, even though these new relationships have been nothing but kind and supportive.

If you carry old bricks from the failed relationships of your past to your present relationships, you will build the same flawed structures that fell apart before.

You will end up spending your entire life hopelessly seeking the right lover and the right friends if you expect them to be perfect.

Even worse, the process of doing so will drive you mad, as you feel more and more insecure with every failed relationship that doesn’t live up to your fantasy of perfection.

When I was younger I often felt inadequate and “not good enough” to be friends, lovers, or business partners with certain people.

Sometimes I simply couldn’t understand what others saw in me. I ended many promising relationships because of my insecurity.

But after awhile, as I grew emotionally, I began to realize that I wanted and needed the comfort and support of long-term relationships.

So what did I do, and what can you do if insecurity is damaging your relationships?

We’re all seeking those special relationships that feel perfect for us, but if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to realize that there are no “perfect people” for you, just different flavors of imperfect ones. You yourself are imperfect in many ways, and you seek out relationships with people who are imperfect in complementary ways.

It takes a lot of life experience to grow fully into yourself and realize your own imperfections; and it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest imperfections, your unsolvable flaws – the ones that truly define who you are – that you are able to proficiently select harmonious relationships.

When you stop trying to read their minds, you really begin to respect their right to privacy.