You are attracted to the wrong men for reasons beyond your control. You need to rewire yourself on what it means to be in a healthy relationship.

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I’m not a psychologist who has been trained to delve into your past; my specialty is helping women in the present model confident behavior to elicit better results in the future.

Your issue, in this instance, isn’t lack of confidence; it’s something that runs much deeper, something you only hinted at when you say that your family “messed you up.” Without knowing you, I have to concur.

I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive.

Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).

And that is something I do – I look specifically for empathy.

And guess what…on those very rare occasions when the idea of kissing/sleeping with someone is not downright unappealing, they’re cold and narcissistic, and so I walk away. We’re living in a white man’s world, they set the laws, the tone etc…for nearly everything. Edited and added: [(NOT ALL WHITE MEN)] don’t mean to be rude…js…”Here’s the truth of it: The average Joe living in Alabama in 1950 who loved the cute country girl did NOT have the power as an individual to change laws and social hierarchies that were established before he was even born.Tom is Mississippi did not have the power to NOT get fired from his job for having a black wife and half-black kids at home.A lot of times, black women expect one man to conquer the world and give up everything and risk everyone’s life with constant stress of being victimized by people who are against him, and if he doesn’t choose that, he’s a cowardly piece of shit.When I bring up the FACT that black women were also terrified of making the leap to love across color lines, historical context and justifications are given.Kendall, who pulls no punches when it comes to telling it like it T-I-IS said this. But the same women who didnt think enough of themselves to only give life, love, support and sacrifice to the black male who has EARNED it, is the same bw who now demand the white man hand her the world. We expect feats of strength, dismantling of systems, and for him replace the image of his own MOTHER with ours as some sort of downpayment on our love. We focus on LOOKS, HEIGHT, AGE and all that other mess that black people use to choose mates and dont even realize that if we want to WIN! Cuz I see a lot of Sistas who CLAIM to be open to IRR but are quietly SEETHING that they cannot get the BLACK man they TRULY want, and expect white men to REIMBURSE her for it through the meeting of ridiculous expectations to make up the difference. Black women don’t force black males to sit and watch documentaries on rape, molestation, FGM, child brides, breast ironing and all of the other Patriarchal madness that black men have a hand in with bw all around the world.