Josh: You know, I realize that as an adult not everyone shares my view of the world, and with an issue as hot as gun control I'm prepared to accept a lot of different points of view as being perfectly valid, but we can all get together on the grenade launcher, right? The nightmare scenario, sweetheart, is you getting kidnapped. We sit here, we drink this beer out here on the stoop, in violation of about 47 city ordinances. What do you say about a government that goes out of its way to protect even citizens that try to destroy it?

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Sam and Toby are communications and my guess is that speech writing won't be a priority either. Surely we can do it again, as we did in the time when our eyes looked towards the heavens, and with outstretched fingers we touched the face of God. J.: I've been playing it fast and loose there's no doubt about it, but sitting in on some of the meetings we've been having, and reading the briefing book last night, I have to say that the census is starting to sound to me like it's, well, important. You scare the hell out of the Secret Service, Zoey, and you scare the hell out of me, too. Why in the world would you want to try it when he's both at the same time? J.: Danny, if by standing up and lying, I misdirected Iraqi intelligence for even half a beat, then it was absolutely worth it. I just want to mention that at several points during the evening, I was referred to as both a liberal and a populist, and a fellow fourth from the back called me a socialist, which is nice, I haven’t heard that for a while. "We hold these truths to be self-evident," they said, "that all men are created equal." Strange as it may seem, that was the first time in history that anyone had ever bothered to write that down. My name is Josiah Bartlet, and I accept your nomination for the Presidency of the United States!

I don't think they're going to be issuing a whole lot of releases. What will be the next thing that challenges us, Toby? You know that when smallpox was eradicated, it was considered the single greatest humanitarian achievement of this century? But that is nothing compared to how terrified we are of you. " You've had some experience battling Jed Bartlet when he's right, and you've had some experience battling him when he's popular. There were only 50 people in the world who can't understand why I lied this morning, and they all work in the White House pressroom. Bartlet: They’re telling me that we’re out of time. Josiah Bartlett, who was the New Hampshire delegate representative to the Second Continental Congress, the one that sat in session in Philadelphia in the summer of 1776 and announced to the world that we were no longer subjects of King George III, but rather a self-governing people. Tina Bishop and Linda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I'd only remind you that the President of the United States was shot last night while surrounded by the best trained armed guards in the history of the world. Bartlet: Tonight, what began on the commons in Concord, Massachusetts, as an alliance of farmers and workers, of cobblers and tinsmiths, of statesmen and students, of mothers and wives, of men and boys, lives two centuries later as America!

And I'm here sir, and I'd like to ask you for an explanation. One in five children live in the most abject, dangerous, hopeless, backbreaking, gut wrenching poverty, one in five, and they're children.

I put the hammer to farms in Concord, Salem, Laconia, and Pelham. Today, for the first time in history, one in five Americans living in poverty are children.

I know the more jaded among you, see this as something rather beneath you. Everybody look down at the big seal in the middle of my carpet. Somebody comes up from behind, puts their hand across your mouth and whisks you out the back door. The law of our land mandates that Presidential appointees be confirmed by a majority of the Senate, a majority being a total of half plus one for a total of what, Ginger? In the three months that this man has been on my radar screen, I have aged forty-eight years. I know it sounds terrible, but trust me, I don't know where this has been all my life. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. Because we cease to be earthbound and burdened with practicality. Talking about the idea that nobody has thought about yet. Josh: Actually, you have no sense about these things.

Leo: I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak I am preparing appropriate retribution. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry. It is in the spirit of Andrew Jackson that I, from time to time, ask senior staff to have face-to-face meetings with those people representing organizations who have a difficult time getting our attention. staffer gave me a card with instructions on it for what I'm supposed to do in the event of a nuclear attack. You go out to a bar or a party in some club and you get up to go to the restroom. Bartlet: Toby, I'm drinking the most fantastic thing I've ever tasted in my life: chocolate syrup, whole milk, and seltzer.

Margaret: [to the Surgeon General] Red meat has been found to cause cancer in white rats. We'll make enemies, we'll break laws, we'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren. J.: Yes, Hoynes had us nervous with his admonishment of big oil and, yes, the president was making us nervous too. Tonight, I've seen a man with no legs stay standing, Dad, and a guy with no voice keep shouting. Things are a lot less comic for women, who aren't allowed to attend school or have jobs. Killing yourself and innocent people to make a point is sick, twisted, brutal, dumb-ass murder. but that, my friends, is not worthy of you; it's not worthy of a President; it's not worthy of a great nation; it's not worthy of America.' Paper's for wimps. And instead of saying 'Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, Leave it to Beaver trip back to the fifties,' we cowered in the corner. 'Cause now the pole is causing more drag than the kelp was. When it costs us nothing, when we give up nothing?! Leo: The President was at the debate site, walking the stage. He makes it his own like it's an extension of his body. I don't understand people who say they've had enough. They beheaded a hundred and twenty-one people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking.

Maraschino cherries have been found to cause cancer in white rats. Sam: It was high treason, and it mattered a great deal! And if politics brings out the worst in people, maybe people bring out the best. They're not allowed to be unaccompanied, and oftentimes get publicly stoned to death for crimes like not wearing a veil. And let me leave you with this thought before I go searching for the apples that were rightfully mine: we don't need martyrs right now. A hero would die for his country but he'd much rather live for it. Worry about what you'll tell your parents when you break curfew. See, what you gotta do is you gotta drop it in and let the water lift it out in a windmill motion. You ever see a pitcher work the mound so the dirt does exactly what his feet want it to do? He sees it as a genuine opportunity to change minds – also his best way of contributing to the team. They have no free press, no elected government, no political parties. Why must every American President bound out of an automobile like as at a yacht club, while in com... There are going to be people who aren't going to the bunker, and when I get out I'm not going to be able to tell them what to do anymore and I like doing that.

You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I’m upset. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Except I forgot to open the garage door. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Sam: [reading a newspaper article, quoting a congressman] "Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. Where was the retribution for the families, and where is the warning to the rest of the world that Americans shall walk this Earth unharmed, lest the clenched fist of the most mighty military force in the history of mankind comes crashing down on your house?! It's how you behave if you're the most powerful nation in the world. Listen, Leo Mc Garry filled me in on the situation with your mother. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo... And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. But we're here now, tomorrow night we do an immense thing; we have to say what we feel, that government, no matter what its failures in the past and in times to come for that matter, government can be a place where people come together and where no one gets left behind. Society has a right to protect itself, but it doesn't have a right to be vengeful. Let me take you to safety." But the man shouted back, "I’m religious. And a guy with a megaphone shouted, "Hey you, you down there. Let me drop this ladder and I’ll take you to safety." But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him and that God will take him to safety. and certainly a credible one from a man who's fought in a war. I don’t think the framers were thinking of three guys in a Dodge Durango. But I know that if you combine all the populations of Great Britain, France, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Denmark, and Australia you’ll get a population roughly the size of the United States. Do you think it’s because Americans are more homicidal by nature or do you think it’s because those guys have gun control laws? They lie when 72 percent of Americans say they're tired of a sex scandal, while all the while, newspaper circulation goes through the roof for anyone featuring the story. I think giving people a vision of government that's more than Social Security checks and debt reduction is good. Sam: [reading an excerpt rejected from the State of the Union speech] Over the past half century, we've split the atom, we've spliced the gene and we've roamed Tranquility Base. If they discover you've been there I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass - What?