God told Adam that the woman would collect his food, cook it for him, and care for all his needs and wants.

jokes about old people dating-67

He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car. Cursing softly, now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door. Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear? At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him."Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is." A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

I know we've been friends for a long time....I just can't think of your name! On his way home he stops at a shop and buys a paper.

Before leaving he says to the shop assistant , "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am? While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.

He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married.

Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. " If you would like to be added, just copy and paste the following HTML code into your desired webpage code. We will will then add your related link & description to our retirement jokes site and acknowledge with-out delay.

The priceless humor and funny jokes on this page milk all the sacred cows of human family hijinks.

You gotta find the funny in relationships or move to the planet "Crazy." Great jokes about Men, Women, Dating, Marriage, Kids, Grandparents, and Seniors.

If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday.