And the interactive nature of online chatting/sex adds a level of uncertainty and unpredictability that can be exhilarating for people who crave such stimulation (see why people cheat).Moreover, most people dismiss their online activities as NOT being real—it is like a sexual fantasy, it doesn’t have much consequence—because one can walk away from it or turn it off—unlike a traditional affair where there has been physical contact and a person who actually exists in one’s social network.

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In these types of situations, it is common for people to offer quick solutions, but easy solutions typically don’t work long term (see once a cheater).

So, our best advice is probably the most difficult.

The beginning emails- I felt we were just starting to date, so it wasn’t as big of a deal, then I saw emails in the middle of our relationship and some current ones.

About a month ago a girl sent him something entitled from your Canadian girls, saying how they hadn’t talked for awhile, he told her he’d been really busy with stuff, said he’d explain later and hoped to see her soon...

I just don’t know how to handle this whole thing, I love him dearly and it hurts very badly...

He’s got so many good qualities and in my heart I feel as though he truly loves me, would never hurt me, but-I know I’ve babbled, I just wanted to make sure everything was clear. On one hand, your boyfriend has been turning to other women for sexual gratification—leaving you feeling hurt, betrayed and rejected.

The high reward and low cost nature of online cheating makes it difficult to stop.

But from your perspective, it is REAL; it feels like cheating and it hurts just the same (see online cheating). First, attempts to control a partner’s behavior, often fail.

And from your boyfriend’s perspective, on-line porn/chatting/sex can be very difficult to stop.