You know, when they say one thing and mean another just to get what they want? You may want to confront them directly, and ask what exactly their motives are in your relationship. Perhaps they are unaware of his manipulative and game-playing ways.

This will do one of two things: it will either challenge them to stop the games with you and move on to someone else, or they’ll quit not only messing with your head, but also with your heart. Someone once said, A liar will first lie to himself before lying to others.

What complicates matters more are pre-existing patterns, modern gender roles, and generational differences. A man who’s self-confidence equals or may even overshadow my own.

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However, if mind games are being played, or both parties happen to have a stubborn streak, the lack of texts on the day after the first date might not indicate the success of the date at all. You start googling things like “after first date texting rules” and “should a girl text a guy first.” You read a Reddit thread like this one and realize maybe you were in the wrong because you never texted to make sure he got home safe and now you just look like a bitch. This makes it even more difficult to decipher if he’s just really busy or just not that into you. Was it because you mentioned you like British comedy? After 72 hours of spiteful, frustrated venting about this jerk that you barely even enjoyed hanging out with, you light up at the first sight of his text and all hope is renewed.

The pre-existing pattern to base the potential between you two might not matter. Though I’m very much an independent, career-oriented, “modern woman,” I still have very traditional views on dating and courtship… In the end, how it all plays out is as simple as this: It was a great date; you felt chemistry and lust, but he did not. Unfortunately, now you’re left wondering how soon you should text your response…

All of this comes from a low self-esteem and an unawareness of how they hurt others. Sadly, many people have very little insight into what they are doing and why. You don’t have to be a victim of another person’s lack of consideration for others. Other times people play with your mind in an attempt to find out how you feel about them.

Still others are in a frantic state of mind, wanting that thrill of knowing at least one person cares about them. But they soon get bored once they think the person they have been pursuing actually likes them. It takes so much courage to be vulnerable enough to share our deepest needs of wanting to love and be loved.

Your willingness to lovingly, but firmly, confront someone on what they have clearly been doing may help them to stop a game they may not even know their playing.

But just remember this: don’t simply listen to what they say, watch what they do.

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Seeing What He Does Seeing What He Says Finding Out For Sure Community Q&A If you’re really feeling a guy and aren’t sure if he’s on the same page, it can cause you a lot of stress and self-doubt.