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And seriously, bring your boyfriend or girlfriend to the sex club.
There were plenty of couples, from 20-somethings to people in their mid-40s, being totally in love (OK, lust), roving around with eyes only for each other.
Unlike normal clubs there is no sex here, since there are way better places to do that basically everywhere else.
There are even stickers on the bathroom doors with a group of dots and a strike-through (I'm guessing that means no orgies?
It’s the time of year when many of us are coming down with the flu.
Well, you’ll be happy to know that the German attitude to sickness isn’t to “man up” and fight through it. Germany's biggest lenders have shied away from business with Iran after past penalties for breaching US sanctions, but smaller banks have leapt on opportunities afforded by the nuclear deal rejected by Donald Trump.
So when I recently arrived at a German sex club (in Downtown Berlin, naturally), I had to figure things out for myself.
It wasn't long before I gave myself over to the laser beams, crowds of glistening strangers in leather and lace, and thumping, heavy house music.
Fatal dog attacks seem to have barely been out of the headlines in Germany this year.
As a trial starts over the death of a helpless pensioner at the teeth of an aggressive canine, is it time for Germany to reassess its dog laws?
And after a few shots of Jägermeister and a constant procession of all kinds of wobbly bits, you start to feel pretty at ease.