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But what’s surprised me even more is that Tinder is an awesome tool to discover what you’re really looking for when it comes to love.
The app provides you an endless pool of people to date, which gives you an opportunity to explore how you communicate, what kinds of people you are attracted to and what your non-negotiables are. Sure, it’s kind of alienating and weird to swipe right or left on people’s faces — but if you recognize that it’s simply a part of the deal of dating at large, rather than some kind of evil behavior choice, you’ll be starting off on the right foot. Make reference to one of your non-negotiables — at the get-go.
While I’m still on my journey toward finding a spiritually fulfilling relationship, I’ve found there are certain ground rules for using Tinder that have really worked for me. Accepting that attraction is a weird, idiosyncratic, kind of mystical thing will help you make dating much easier on yourself.2. Despite the fact that I think Tinder has the potential to be a “gross hookup app,” it’s totally fine if you want to use it for casual hookups. By the same token, if you want something more serious, own that. OK, this one’s my favorite, because it’s a total game-changer in terms of setting your intentions and being authentic.
I am a 24-year-old woman living in Brooklyn, working at a startup and writing in my free-time as a side hustle.
And I’m dating, which involves the perilous world of Tinder.
In short: drop in a subtle reference to something you care about right at the get go as a litmus test for whether or not you and your Tinder match are “on the same page” ideologically and otherwise.5.
Make jokes, and realize the importance of humor in dating. Chat with people long enough to get a vibe for them. This fall, I made the mistake of meeting up with someone after exchanging only a few, generic questions.
I like to make jokes, or assert some element of humor, immediately. If someone isn’t jiving with my sense of humor, then it’s not going to work. I ended up spending the entire date trying to devise an exit strategy.
Sure, I had chatted long enough with the guy to make sure as best I could that he was safe and normal, and I was pleased that my experience wasn’t dangerous or detrimental.
I’ve learned some of the things that make me tick when it comes to dating — such as the fact that I care about making concrete plans with people I’m dating.
Plus: I’ve even discovered a bunch of cool new bars and restaurants in Brooklyn that I’ve gone to on separate occasions since.
But I ended up feeling discouraged about dating for no reason.