Found my boyfriend on dating website
I also asked if anyone has contacted him on the website since he’s been going out with me and he said that a couple of girls have but he hasn’t replied to them (he also let me see the messages).I know he is committed, as he tells me that he wants to be with me and although he looks at other girls, including girls on a dating site, he tells me has “chosen” to be with me.Should I be feeling so insecure or do I just need to let it go?
I told him how it really upset me and how disrespectful I found it, especially as it was a dating website.
He responded with saying that although he didn’t see anything wrong in it “it’s nothing”, he could see that it had upset me and so when I asked him to delete it, he went ahead and deleted his account.
He said that he only looks at it to use the function where he can look through it and he can click on “yes” or “no” (i.e. He says that he always clicks on “no” even if they’re good looking.
He reassured me that he was not going on there to look for girls, but just to look at their pictures.
Today, we can contact this person at the touch of a button and in an idle moment might send off a “Hi Sexy” message.
As you can imagine this can lead to all sorts of problems.
He has also slept with friends, which I find a bit strange, as it goes over that friends/lover/feelings boundary, and admittedly I have been hung up on this issue with him in the past, but kind of accepted our different histories now.
I’ve spoken to a male friend to try and get his perspective and he reassured me that it is typical male behaviour (including looking at porn, which my partner – to my unease – and male friend does).
I found this out after he started to write something in a search engine on his laptop when I was sitting next to him, which brought up his history in the search bar and I asked “do you still look at …(dating website)”.
At first, he replied that he has a couple of times, and then when I was unsure whether he was being honest, I asked again and he then said a couple of times a week.
However, in the old days we would have to find a photo, write a letter, post it to a PO Box and wait for a reply.