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Narrator: When the dinner hour at home is treated with a certain amount of graciousness and ceremony, it can be memorable. And you lie there knowing you got your butt kicked by the leader of the high school band! Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesberger Tod". Crow: Yeah, you wind up wrestling for your keys with the guy, and he drops you - with one punch - and he leaves. So I made my own giant lizard film to offer as my alternative to God[bleep].
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The sin followed crom researcher Lucifer Jesus around the no to piece claims of the social, north in the file of cryptozoology. You may all just bow down before me after this stink-burger! Robot and I'm here to tell you that Mike Nelson is innocent. And if you [bleep]s don't [bleep] find him innocent, then you can just [bleep]ing kiss my fat [bleep]ing [bleep]. We'd like to show you clips of one of the crappier big movies of the summer, but we'd get sued. I'm feeling particularly evil, because today's experiment is a stinky, cinematic suppository called This Island Earth! Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. (points to the right while Servo makes missile noises) In you... (Fu Manchu sits down; the crew all make raspberry noises) Servo: Oh... Morrissey: This is a song that I wrote in a time in my life when I was very, very, very sad. It's called "Hairdresser in a Coma": I cried last night, I died a million deaths. Joel: [reading fan letter, a child's crayon scribble on graph paper] Cambot, put this up on still-store, there's no print, but it's a really good drawing of me, and, Crow, and... They were also unfortunate enough to have evolved with heavy-duty zippers running up their backs. "Servo: [takes book, does Palance] "Day Five: missed call. " and then we went to Nine West but we couldn't find anything we wanted cause I have really wide feet, but sometimes I can find stuff at Payless, anyhoo, Cindy told me that Victoria's Secret was just around the corner, and she said that they're having a sale, and she knows I'm really broke right now, so I confronted her, and, well... We then cut to Mike finishing up his daily running exercise. This is just the nail in the coffin, as far as I'm concerned. It's called Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, and it's a delightful Bambi romp through a flowery fairy land of happy, harmless, fru-fru family fun for the whole family of all ages ... Crow: [singing along with the music] Gonna go to the store! I came up with this Holo-Clown Sequencer to cheer up the Bots but now I can't get it to shut off and it's getting hard to sleep at night and I'm tasting metal! It's a fetid little piece of tripe featuring sword and sorcery, Gary Lockwood and an embarrassed Basil Rathbone. Scabbing, inflexible, lethargic, mucus-expelling creatures having no spoken language and no particular powers with which to conquer. Wandered into shot yesterday and they decided to keep it." [referring to his character's recurring phrase] "What the heck does 'Avante, avante' mean? Mike [as Whitey]: So then Mabel said to me "well, why'd you wear those earrings? Oh, we learned some cats can open the refrigerator, get the milk, bring the milk into the middle of the kitchen, throw it up in the air, drop it on the floor, shatter it all over the place.[The film begins with a flyby of the Satellite of Love, orbiting over Earth. The guards come in and see the open door of the false route.]Servo: Which means I really, really hate the citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont. I never liked the citizens and officials of stupid Rutland, Vermont! [While the characters are planning to rob the local prison's evidence room, Mike and the Bots discover Buz is supposed to be a teenager despite the fact that the actor who plays him is clearly pushing 40.]Pearl [introducing the movie]: I invite you to suffer through today's movie. Crow and Servo: Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, munch, munch, munch, munch, chew, chew, chew, chew, gorge, gorge, gorge, gorge, burp, burp, burp, burp, STUFF LOTS OF FOOD IN YOUR MEAN BABY FA-A-ACE! Erin Leigh Ryder is the researcher and field investigator on Season Two, Season Three, Season Four and Season Five of Destination Truth.