You have to work hard to find someone you really want and really like – or, as one married male friend put it, “someone normal” (apparently normal men are in short supply).

dating women in their 4039s-54

Depending on who it’s coming from, this can be flattering or very insulting (especially the friends who urge you to compromise).

But remember this: It’s only human for people to want to feel validated in their own life decisions by seeing you reflect them with your own.

We waited a long time to focus on settling down, and now we’re facing a somewhat distressing fact of life: Once you’re over 40, there is a diminished pool of men to choose from.

So we figured out – and accepted – that the right man does not magically appear when you’re ready for him.

Maybe you're lonely, horny, you want a girlfriend, need some company, or just need to get laid. We ALL want love, but some guys blow it by rushing.

GF #1: "There seems to be some kind of 'trying on of a girlfriend.' On the first date, I've had a guy take my hand and rub my shoulders, without any words of seduction or romance.

Don't get too flirty too fast, don't text, and definitely don't sext.

Even if you're fresh out of a miserable marriage and new to the singles scene, take a breath.

This is one of life’s big mysteries but sometimes I think the key is identifying the right places to look. When you’re over 40, you’re usually pretty comfortable in your own skin You know what you like, and what you don’t.

Maybe you would prefer to hang out at cafes, museums, film festivals and art galleries.

Sometimes I wonder if we convince ourselves we want children without really examining it.