When that happens, stop the problem-solving conversation, suggest taking a minute or two out, talk soothingly to your friend, then ask her if she feels ready to work on the problems again.

You find your teenage daughter crying and sobbing inconsolably in her bedroom.

The best way to use these scenarios is to break up a larger group into smaller groups of three or four people each.

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On the one hand, because rape is a crime that robs a person of their self determination at the most intimate level, the last thing you want to do is force that person to do something else against their will; especially something like trying to make them talk about the rape when they don't want to talk about it.

At the same time, a teenage girl is still a child, and as with all youngsters in crisis, it's often necessary for adults to step in and take charge for the sake of the youngster's safety and welfare.a.

She seems afraid to get into conversations, as if she fears getting punished. She says she doesn't know what's going to happen next, what exactly he was arrested for, whether or not she has to do anything like testify or get a restraining order, and she doesn't know how to find all this out either. FACT: It's extremely important that victims of violent crime be informed and stay informed about the criminal case.

The information itself greatly reduces a victim's anxiety.

When you have her focused attention, tell her it's perfectly natural for her to feel panicky and afraid given what she's been through. Then try to evaluate and prioritize her most urgent needs, putting aside those things that can be solved later.c.

Reassure her that you're going to help, but first the two of you need to slow everything down.b. Recent victims of crime and trauma usually have to be calmed down repeatedly, because the very powerful emotions overcome them in waves.

The parental decisions you make about when and if to take actions against your daughter's wishes are likely to be difficult, and may bring on strong reactions from your daughter.

Try to keep her as much involved in the decisions as possible.

Some other ways to get additional information are: read over any paperwork the responding officers left with your friend, call and talk to an on-duty sergeant at the arresting police department, or call the arresting officer. As the case progresses, add the district attorney's office to your list of sources of information.