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“My advice is to give your commitment-phobe some space, and allow them to reach out to you to make plans.
I spent most of my teenage years and early twenties in dysfunctional relationships.
It seemed like I was constantly destroying the relationships I was in and only dating needy women.
If your partner tries to prolong a never-ending courting process, it’s time to move on.” It’s not surprising commitment-phobes are afraid of commitment in other areas of their life and this reluctance isn’t exclusive to you and your relationship.
“Commitment-phobes often move to the beat to their own drum and are not overly concerned with the impact of their aloof attitude on others,” says Ray.
A relationship is a two-way street and if all the effort is one-sided, it’s clearly time to move on or reassess unless you’re OK with the constant disappointments.” If you truly love them and want to stay with them, you honestly do have to wait, says millennial dating expert and host of the We Met At Acme podcast, Lindsey Metselaar.
“Lead by example and show them how rewarding it is to commit to people and to things.Engaging in thought-provoking conversation, free of judgment, criticism and having a great deal of patience will be required to help your commitment-phobe to have a breakthrough.” If you continue with the “why can’t you commit” nagging, you will likely end up pushing them even further away.Metselaar says sometimes, you have to let them bring it up naturally because they’re the one with the phobia. “If you’re frustrated and really need to have that conversation, then tell them to come back to you when they’re ready to discuss it.” Signs that your partner may never commit can present themselves in the beginning of relationship and often we like to think that we can change them. And if you do convince them to commit, there are no guarantees the relationship will even be a healthy one.“As long as you’re not having tunnel vision and too blinded by love, you’ll be able to determine whether the person is worth the headache,” says Metselaar.If you’re dealing with a commitment-phobe, it’s even more important to not distance yourself from your friends.I learned the secrets that would allow me to take control of this area of my life.