For an easy place to start, or a smooth way to transition into dirty talk, bring up of your favorite memories of having sex together.

Say something like, “you know what just popped into my head today?

Learning how to have a long-distance sex life may require a little extra effort, patience, and creativity, but you can make it work for your relationship! Ask your boyfriend what he envisions your sex life looking like when the two of you are apart.

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Q: My boyfriend is moving to another state for a job opportunity that’s too good to turn down.

We’re hoping it will be temporary (maybe only a year).

Too bad you’ll have to wait until I get off work.”Send a naughty note via old fashioned snail mail.

There’s something about a hand-written letter that feels so different from a text or email.

Send each other little messages throughout the day, teasing each other until the next time you’re able to speak or see each other in person.

For example, “I can’t wait to tell you about this hot dream I had about you last night.You can start off tame, with a little message that says, “I miss your arms around me” or “I want to kiss you right now.” As you start to feel more comfortable, up the naughty factor with texts like, “I wish you were here in bed next to me.”If you still feel unsure of how to phrase your thoughts, try reading erotic fiction for inspiration.Get a sense of which words feel more natural to you than others. Next, try sending him an email describing what you’d like to do to him the next time you two see each other.You might find it easier to express yourself using pen and paper, or a more sultry side of your personality might emerge.Talking over the phone is another fun option that’s not that much more intimidating than texting or writing.Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics.