If he doesn’t want to marry you, it’s time for him to let you go. Only some version of “I’m not ready,” or “I’m not sure”. What you don’t want is to be the woman who holds on, hopefully, giving him everything he wants and sacrificing everything that you want.

I know someone who has spent 7 years – her childbearing years – waiting for her boyfriend to propose. If you’re willing to be that woman – the one who waits forever for the day that never comes, then that’s your prerogative.

But what if you legitimately to be friends afterwards? Just because you didn’t work out as lovers, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends – even Let’s start this off with some straight talk: you’re not going to be friends for a while.

He’s never even considered giving a girl a key to his apartment!

But when he moved this past July, he let me decorate/organize his kitchen which he said was big for him because he likes to be in control of that.

I think I need to stop if I truly believe it when I say that I’ll wait and be patient, but I’m not sure how to do just back off and give him the space he needs to make a decision.

Am I being completely foolish and just a pathetic girl? Thanks, Sophie Dear Sophie, I know you’re looking for advice, but I want to use your email as a teaching tool.

There are also people who win the Mega-Millions lottery with a single ticket.

Just because it’s theoretically possible doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen to you, and betting the farm that you’re the exception is a very good way to end up without a farm.I truly believe that a lot of couples don’t have what we have, but a lot of those couples still have more commitment…and therein lies the rub… See, I edited Sophie’s letter for brevity (really, I did!), where she mentioned how her relationship started…seeing each other once a week, then twice a week, then three times a week.I love your column and think you do a great job of answering questions and concerns with sympathy, empathy and insight. I asked if that’s why he doesn’t want to move in—because he’s afraid we’ll break up and it’ll be a pain to move out. We knew a couple who broke up after living together.Cutting him off after a few months because he’s not positive that she’s “the one”? Which is why it’s so comfortable for him to keep things exactly the way they are now. And like you said, it’s all bullshit excuses he’s giving.