Provided with the tools that could turn a retirement home into the best Saturday night of your life (vodka, scrumpy and beer pong) my prospects were as high as a cow on a cannabis plantation.

bonnie and clyde dating-45

Nice guy, we start talking and he mentions he’s not a big drinker as I order my second glass of wine and think back to the scrumpy I just drank – oops.

The night goes on and we’re running through our tab.

Next thing I know he’s stripping down to his undies and hopping in my bed.

All I’ll say is that I woke up with my socks still on so you know it was a good night.

We keep talking and after ten times of us each asking, “what???

” we realize we’re both literally screaming across the table at each other because the band was so damn loud.

I show up, the lady points me to my date and my first thought was, “thank God he’s attractive”.

Nothing like a head of curls and a muscle-hugging white tee to get the juices flowing.

Being a keen reader of the blind date, I thought why not give it a crack.

With a few casual emails exchanged to Critic, it was organised that I was to meet at the Dog With Two Tails at 8.30pm on a Thursday.

We get the awkward small talk out of the way and get into the deeper stuff after we’ve both had a few to drink.